Traditions

Being traditional on wedding is good when everyone (I mean everyone on both sides of the family) has the same cultural background. And by saying cultural background, I mean that in a very specific way. Coz even different villages in China have different customs and traditions.

I'm pretty glad that we don't have a lot to follow, becoz things will get really complicated if we need to combine both Hong Kong and Taiwan wedding traditions. Even without following those tradition strictly, I felt stressed when my aunt kept popping up some new "rules" every time we talked. But when I asked them what we HAVE to do, they always say "nothing much" which totally pisses me off.

So, Mark's side of the family is totally open to anything. Oh, and my mom too. But my aunt and dad tends to follow the basic Cantonese wedding traditions. I think the biggest problem we've faced so far was the "gift money".

In Taiwan, there's different version of what needs to be done. It depends on how specific people want to follow. Basically, the groom's side is expected to send "gift money" to the bride's side. And in return, the bride's side will either return the "gift money" or give jewelery for their daughter to keep and bring it over with her to groom's side. And the bride's side needs to buy new suits, belt and shoes,etc for the groom. (it really depends on what part of Taiwan people live in).

But in Hong Kong, the "gift money" is for the bride's family to keep. In some case when the groom's side is rich, they'll give the bride's family a new apartment or house (or the bride's side will ask for it). U know, as chinese people always say...."when it's about money, it hurts every one's feeling"

And there's different customs even for the Banquet. Let me try to explain that briefly...

In HK, the groom's side pay for the banquet. And the bride's side can request the number of table they want. Then all the "red pocket/gift money" from guest (both sides) will be given to bride's side.

In Taiwan, the main banquet is for groom's side only. Whoever pay for the wedding get the "red pocket/gift money" which usually is more than enough to cover the banquet.

I was talking to one of my friend who will be getting married in Sept. The bride is originally from HK and the groom is originally from Taiwan. They have to take into consideration the religion side of the wedding too. The groom's side is Buddhism and having a wedding in a chapel will be out of the question (even the non-religious one). And they follow a much detailed tradition then our families do. Like not allowing to wear bridal gown the 2nd time and having a very traditional invitation, etc. I do respect all the traditions that have to be followed or performed. But i'll probably go crazy if i need to do a very traditional one. Beoz i'm pretty much a person who want to be in control of her own life.